From hinves@world.net Sat Oct 19 21:38:17 1996 Received: from world.net (sydney2.world.net [198.142.12.2]) by shellx.best.com (8.6.12/8.6.5) with ESMTP id VAA11750 for ; Sat, 19 Oct 1996 21:38:12 -0700 Received: from hinves (sydney63.world.net [192.190.215.63]) by world.net (8.7.4/8.6.6) with SMTP id OAA25234 for ; Sun, 20 Oct 1996 14:39:40 +1000 (EST) Message-Id: <1.5.4.32.19961020044319.006bed84@world.net> X-Sender: hinves@world.net X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.4 (32) Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Date: Sun, 20 Oct 1996 14:43:19 +1000 To: ariel@best.com From: Martin Hinves Subject: Article 4 Status: RO "And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is Love". 1 Corinthians 13:13 I've chosen this verse from the bible as a personal example of how I view my relationships with those I care for who are still members of the ICC (International Churches of Christ) Movement. Every person who has left this Movement has a different story, with variant themes, but in many ways similar experiences. My story, like so many others is unique and personal. What follows is how I see things. I make no claim for a miracle solution or the ultimate answer - what works for me is what I would like to share in this article. The issue of faith is a delicate one, depending on your beliefs. I'm writing from a Christian and personal perspective so you'll have to bear with me. Faith in the Lord for me is vital. I do not presume to judge God or claim to have insight to his will or purpose. I know that I would not be the person I am today if I had not gone through the experiences I have. I believe to walk the Christian path as I do it was necessary for me to undergo my "baptism of fire" as I refer to my times in the Movement. I have learnt so much about God's Grace and Love as a result. Those still in the Movement have a purpose - I believe in God's time and their own they will leave. Faith in those whom you care for is important. Whomever you care for is a living breathing person full of emotions, desires, and goals (though at times they may seem far from it). Despite all the doctrine, regardless of the control mechanisms, and underneath the outer image, is a human being. Whatever they are going through there are emotional needs that are going unmet, desires that are left wanting, and goals that have not been achieved - in some cases not even attempted. Such crucial denials eventually rise to the surface to be dealt with. This may happen throughout their membership, many times but eventually I believe a breakthrough will happen. I've spoken to many people who have left the Movement, frustration at something is a major cause I can personally vouch for. Often it was something as simple as going to the movies alone, or just for a walk, or even that they wanted to buy a hamburger. The stimulus can be anything, including things normally classified as trivial. Every person by their nature has been born different, which means that they have different tolerances, emotionality, and mental characteristics. I believe when the time is right for them they will leave. Those still there have just not reached their time yet. Faith in yourself. You are only human - you will make mistakes and conversely you will have successes. You can be a powerful instrument in reaching those inside the Movement. Each case is different and will be unique, but simply put every action you perform will have an effect; as you know them best you will know where to concentrate the effort. Reaching the person underneath all the doctrine is the aim. Faith in the failure of the Movement to ultimately keep it's members also helps. It was stated to me by two leaders of the Movement (one has since left) that about 90% of members eventually leave. These same people also advised me that the average member only stayed about 18 months to 2 years. I know that you can make statistics say anything you like by skewing the sample studied but to me these two statements are vitally important. They are a powerful indicator that the vast majority of members leave. If someone you know has been in for a longer time then you still have cause for hope by remembering that these are just statistics and again their time has just not come yet - circumstances have not been reached for them yet. Hope is one characteristic I probably do not have to expand on as I think we all hope that those inside will leave. Hope is powerful and positive and a major factor in coping with what we see. When we loose hope we dispair and become discouraged. That which once was possible is now deemed to be beyond all reason. Apathy and negativity come to us and distract us more. Never loose hope that what seems like an impossibility at times is actually a fairly startling reality in actuality. You have many positive reinforcements for your hope once you look around. I've listed a few in this article but each of you will know their own special reasons why. Love is to my mind the greatest motivating factor in play here. I would urge you to read from the New Testament 1 Corinthians 13, if you so desire, to see where I gain my inspiration. Unconditional Love conquers all. In a psychology course it was described to me that a mother's love for her child was unconditional; and a father's love for his child was conditional. I beleive we should love unconditionally those we care for. Movement doctrine taught to me was Love = Obedience, which is not what I am advocating here. I am referring to a love that always protects, trusts, and perseveres. Such a powerful force is a major way of showing that we care. In a Christian perspective our spiritual light that we do not wish to hide should shine through in our actions and our love for God and others. Another way of showing that we care is by our actions and our actions should reflect the love that we feel and state. If you believe in the power of prayer then I would urge you to pray for those you love. In summary I would like to thank those of my friends who had Faith, Hope and Love, whilst I was in the Movement. Through their perseverence and understanding I have a life that is well worth living and experiencing. Incidently I think I should mention that dispite Movement teachings (as explained to me on many different times over 2 years) leaving it does not have to mean that you are leaving God; and that you can survive and have a successful life after leaving - you do have a choice. Martin Hinves Justice of the Peace Ex-acting Lance Corporal (Unpaid) Australian Army Reserve WRITTEN BEFORE THE BOSTON MOVENMENT CHANGED IT'S NAME TO THE ICC. Paranoia is useful when they are out to get you..... It keeps you alive longer... The problem with paranoia is that it makes you think you are important enough to worth the trouble to persecute in the first place.